a full head

it's funny. the thing which i have treasured most about my time so far in sierra leone, is how my head has been perfectly empty. life and my particular role therein was relatively simple. actually almost non-existent. all i have really had to do was be sure to wake up and get out to transport on time. but things have been different today. it's not that i have been particularly busier or that my day has looked that different from any other day. but for the first time in nearly two months, i had to make a to-do list.

for those of you who know me from school, you know that i operate on a perpetual cycle of to-do lists. i love the feeling of getting everything that's swirling about down in such a concrete way - on paper, on the computer, on my calendar, in my day-planner. for some reason, seeing everything neatly bulleted and organized makes me feel as though it can all get done. since arriving in sierra leone, i have not had to make a single one. until today.

very little of the list has to do with life here, actually. it's all focused on things i need to do before i go, things i need to do when i get home, and a few things that have to be done before the weekend or before the end of the day. i greet this first of many transitions back to my former life with a mixture of pleasure and dread. in a way, it's like returning to a long-lost friend. in another way, i didn't particularly miss that buzzing feeling in my head of countless thoughts which consistently refuse to be tied down.

but it really isn't so bad as it sounds. when i think of many of the aspects of school which lie in front of me - the relationships, the activities, the excitement, the adventure, the lessons to be learned. it really is wonderful. and if i have to heighten my stress level a bit, and take on a bit more responsibility, then so be it...