cycling through

it almost seems as thougth "so long sweet life" would have been the more appropriate blog title, or at the very least, "so long sweet blog." i was, to be perfectly honest, a little shocked and awed to see that my last post was the 17th of august. now, as we round up to the end of october - with the leaves in shocking shades of reds and yellows and several bare branches reminding us of what is to come, august seems so very far away.

i'm halfway finished with the first semester of my senior year, and my feelings/perspective/outlook seems to flow through a repetitive progression which is quickly becoming a sort of weekly, or sometimes daily, routine. first there is the feeling of being overwhelmed - swamped with the sheer volume of work which much be accomplished in a single day, knowing that there are so many people with whom i have yet to connect but for whom i do care a great deal. then comes the feelings of being so "done" with college and with bc. ready to be a full-fledged member of the world, not trapped within the bc bubble where a false sense of maturity threatens to take hold of you at every turn. finished with the parties where people who really don't actually know each other get drunk so as to feel comfortable bumping into each other in a vague attempt to fulfill a deep need for human contact and interaction. but, low and behold, the last stage settles in - deep appreciation gilded with a tinge of nostalgia.

boston and boston college have been my home for that last four years almost - longer than any other stable place. i will miss my haunts - the coffee shops, the bookstores, the quirky independent theatres. i will miss the proximity to others that college affords, particularly when they are others who have won places in your heart by challenging you to something greater than anything you thought you could be.

biking back from the grocery store yesterday, i had an amelie moment. (amelie is a wonderful french film which follows the life of a whimsical girl who sees the beauty in small things and decides to lead her life motivated by the goal of helping others only to end up helping herself - it's one of my favorites. if you haven't seen it, watch it.) i was turning past the reservoir where there is a walking circuit, and i noticed a little elderly woman walking and suddenly raise her hand in greeting, a broad smile brightening her face. when i looked to where she was looking, i saw an equally little and equally elderly old man. dressed in a black overcoat and a scully cap, wating patiently at the end of the path.

i sped forward from where she was, feeling the weight of garbanzo beans, eggplant, cucumbers, and tomatoes pulling on my shoulders through the straps of my backpack. as i reached him, he turned to watch me pass. we made eye contact, and i smiled at him.

it was only a moment, and while my head raced on with the imaginations of who those individuals were - what their life has been and is now, my heart sang with the singular power of love. and while i know these experiences aren't limited to boston or chestnut hill, there is something uniquely boston about them, and that is what i'll miss.